Leaves both brown and green
As if they cannot decide
Fitting for these times
How do you decide what’s best when it comes to medication? The medication indecision feels so daunting to me!
As we continue to work out things with Squeaker’s medication, life goes on in almost complete indecision about what’s best for him. We did take off one medication, and determined that we just didn’t need that medication. We have a medication check on Monday and we will go from there. I think that when we started this whole medication game back when he began exhibiting symptoms early on, he got diagnosed too soon. His initial diagnosis? ADHD. That diagnosis never got removed after he got diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. For the past two years I have learned towards believing that the label of ADHD does not fit. He also has a diagnosis of Sensory Modulation Disorder, and many of the symptoms that one might attribute to ADHD also match those of Sensory Modulation Disorder and Autism Spectrum Disorder. If you couldn’t guess already, we took away the stimulant medication. His behavior this weekend did not worsen or change, but he did get less zombie-like and sleep better and on Sunday, his Sunday-school teacher said he behaved better than he ever had.
At school, the first two days didn’t go as well, but we stuck with it and on day three, he had the best day he’s had in a while. His evenings still don’t go well, which I’m not sure how to fix, but even the evenings don’t seem to be quite as violent as before. Maybe the stimulant medication had a role to play in the violent outbursts. I don’t think we’re through getting rid of medications. I want to detoxify his body and narrow it down to one or two medications. I’m still not opposed to the idea of just taking him off all of them at once and starting over if it comes to that, but that would require him going to a hospital and we’d have to leave this area to do that because the hospitals around here would pump him full of medications, defeating the purpose of what we’d want to accomplish. The only reason we haven’t gone that route is that he has done so well at school that we’d hate to disrupt that process for him right now.
I hate the slow weaning process that we are going through right now because it leads to indecision. When the doctor asks which medication I feel helps him or which one doesn’t work, how do I answer that? I cannot isolate a variable because I have no controlled situation here. All the medications get mixed together, so I cannot determine which medication does what. I will say that I enjoy the break-through of his personality more without the stimulant medication in his system. I’m just looking forward to the day when I can remember what pills he takes and what doses he’s on because he doesn’t take so many. Right now, I cannot keep track anymore without writing them down and I don’t like it one bit.
I will say that he does at least get his homework done and he does accomplish his work at school. We’re making progress, even with some obstacles, and if I look back at last year, we’ve gone a long way!