Lately I’ve been suffering from a lot of mom guilt. It seems like nothing I do is right. As my son lashes out for reasons unknown, I wonder what I’m doing wrong.
Mom guilt is not uncommon. We all suffer from it. In my case, I feel guilty because my son acts out around me and I don’t know how to stop it. People give “helpful” advice, but it’s really just not helpful at all. I’ve literally tried everything from sending him to his room to the dreaded spanking. I don’t even believe in spanking, so doing it feels wrong and fills me with more mom guilt.
On top of that, nothing works. He hits me and attacks his brother, and I’ve got nothing.
I wind up yelling more than I want, sending him to his room kicking and screaming, and finding no relief.
What am I doing wrong? I don’t know.
The mom guilt plagues me every day. His father has an easier time with him than I do, even though we do the same things. It’s like I just haven’t gained his respect. Or maybe it’s just fear that he’s lacking. Fear of me because I’m smaller and more disabled than his father.
We all feel it
My situation might be different from yours, but I know we all feel mom guilt. We all feel like someone is doing it better than we are, but if we’re honest with ourselves, we’re doing the best we can. And isn’t that all we can do?
If you’re feeling it like I’m feeling it, do this for me. Take a deep breath and say, “This is not on me. I’m doing my best and that’s all I can do.” Pray about it if you’re the praying type. Pray for answers. And do everything you do with love in your heart. If you do that, you should be able to leave the self-criticism at the door. Make it go away.
Me? I’m going to trust in a higher power and listen to the answers. I’m going to do my best and love my children for who they are despite our difficulties. I’m going to continue to tell myself that I’m doing my best and stop the comparisons because comparisons steal our joy.
What are you doing to stop the mom guilt?
I’d love to hear your solutions. Maybe we can all benefit from the support of each other. We can bring each other up instead of tearing each other down. So what do you do? Share in the comments.