I spent the days prior to Thanksgiving in a state of doom-and-gloom about my son’s medication and just not wanting to do it anymore, which left very little room for appreciating all that goes right in our lives. Actually, it left very little room for thinking about all that’s gone right with him. Really, medication or not, he’s still made so many strides since last year. I still want him on less, but he’s so much better now than a year ago. We’ll work on it. That said, Thanksgiving Day went so well. The kids, for the most part, played fabulously together. I honestly don’t believe they fought any more than regular children do and certainly not with any more intensity. The car ride back started off a bit rough, but got better. We made it, and I thought to myself, “I am blessed.”
I have a great deal of difficulty articulating myself in front of people. Time came for us to say blessings around the table and I fumbled. I do it every year. I would love to just write a soliloquy and present it, but I just don’t do well in front of the in-laws. Uh…”job security…” Awesome. Yes. Sold.
You know those moments when you wish you could go back in time and do it over? That’s me every time. Kicking myself and saying, “Seriously? That’s what you said?” That’s not even what I had in my brain, but my steel trap of emotional lock-down comes over me and I refuse to let anything out. No way I’m getting emotional in front of people. Not in front of his people. Because they’re still his people as long as I don’t let them in. Surface level emotions. Share the acceptable.
But I am thankful for more than job security. It goes deeper than that. I watched the kids play together that day and I felt so grateful for that. Seeing them together. And for my husband, for just…everything. He’s just always there. Supportive. Loving. Caring.
So I wrote a poem about my…
Yesterday we ate and enjoyed a feast as one
But Thanksgiving also sets the scene
For seeing for all that God has done,
Opening my eyes to everything previously unseen,
And realizing I’m far more blessed than I ever knew I’d been.
Sometimes I spend entire days wondering about life
But then there’s beauty in watching my kids play.
Seeing my boys laugh takes away the strife.
Receiving hugs and kisses brightens up my day
And hearing words of adoration obliterates dismay.
I come home to my husband, who expresses his support,
Telling me persistently it’s me that he endears.
The love within his heart never falls short
He’s there on days of nastiness when I feel full of drear,
My always faithful pick-me-up, the man who I revere.
My everyday life might feel full of stress and worry
But now I know I have a life quite rich
Perhaps I live life in too much of a hurry
Reflecting on the good things feels like a good switch
Like when you finally reach that impossible-to-reach itch.