…I quit my job today and just left abruptly? Would everything here just stop, or would they carry on without me? I feel the weight of this job on my shoulders. I feel strongly that without me, these kids would suffer, but am I right? In the long run, what would happen if I left? Would they make it? Certainly, they’d try.
…I didn’t wear make-up or comb my hair? If I just decided to put my hair back in a pony-tail and went to work without make-up on, would it really matter? Could I still do my job? Sure, some people might say things about me looking tired, but does that matter? I am tired. Who cares if I look how I feel? My husband doesn’t wear make-up. Why do I take the time to meticulously cover up the dark circles and puffiness?
…I didn’t carefully guard every word I said? If I just spoke the truth and confronted others with my feelings, would the end results really be that devastating? Maybe it’s time to rip off the band-aid for once and hash it out. Let’s face it. Girls spend too much time beating around the bush. Sometimes I just get sick of all the BS and wish I could just say it like it is. It feels so much better afterward. Let’s just say our feelings and be done with it. The end.
…I didn’t do everything perfectly? If I allowed myself to make mistakes and didn’t beat myself up about it, would the world come to an end? Probably not. I’m not sure why I constantly feel the need to drive myself bonkers and make it all perfect. I know hardly anyone else cares about perfection. One of these days I’ll stop caring about perfection too (yeah right).
…I spent more time with my family and less time doing work? There’s an easy answer to that one. I’d probably find more happiness. If someone could tell me how to fit that in with my current schedule without falling dreadfully behind, I’d owe you a debt of gratitude.
In the end, I just want happiness. The world of “what-ifs” and endless possibilities of things I could do better surround me. I want to do things better but feel trapped in the cycle and pressures of society. What if I didn’t care? Oh, that’s another question entirely.
Do you ever ask yourself “What if?”
Originally posted 2014-10-22 12:45:53.